Fear of Opinions: Learning During Tough Conversation

Updated: Sep 17


Fear of people's opinions (FOPO) was introduced in Part 1 here, then we dove deeper into it in Part 2 in regards to receiving feedback here.


For Part 3, it's time that we talk tough conversations.

When we've dove into tough conversation in the past it has been centred around the concept the need to have common standards aligned through an organization for when they arise. This makes it easier to dive into it when required, as well as more productive in terms of yielding results. For more on this check out our Guide to Tough Conversations.


But, assuming you don't have this guide threaded into every tough conversation for the rest of your life, what do you do when they occur?


1) Get control of your breath: Belly breathe, give some space for silence.

2) See more than just the person (people) that you're in conversation with. Each breath should expand your vision field to see more around you, building awareness.

3) Focus on your goals: If you are trying to win/be right/embarrass/protect your image/cause harm you probably won't be happy with what happens. If you focus on learning and understanding what their goals are, you will be a lot more fulfilled by this conversation.


In short, fear of people's opinions will push you toward the low awareness, ego drive, results (red words). That's not ideal. Process focus on learning, and understanding the desired outcomes of the other parties, (green words) is flat out much much better.


-Ken


We really dove into these concepts in our conversation with Alan Stein Jr on our show (links below), which is coming out on September.28th 2020.


We deliver breath and mindfulness training 1on1, but also have it built into our Boosting Resiliency Launchpad Training. We've done over 250 hours of this training with businesses and sport teams, and would love to partner with you as well.


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