Population goes up and survival of the fittest tends to be something that kicks in by expressing itself with many different symptoms.
Survival of the fittest comes from fear.
Fear breeds selfishness.
Fear kills selflessness.
There are many many ways that selflessness dies.
Here are a few of the most common:
1) DESIRE TO PROVE YOU'RE ENOUGH.
[Tip: You are as long as you're putting in the effort]
What this looks like: Instagram.
What this feels like: Those moments where you think if you don't tell someone that you're doing good or that you're feeling good you're not actually doing or feeling those things.
What to do: Remind yourself that you aren't your profile. What people think of it doesn't matter. Straight up. Does not matter.
2) AVOIDING CHALLENGE AND CHANGE.
[Tip: You will probably never learn or get better if you allow this]
What this looks like: Netflix, Social Media, Saying "No" too much.
What this feels like: Those moments where you don't go see anyone and just watch a whole season alone because you might get judged harshly. When you focus a lot on building your social media instead of actually seeing another person's face because it's "safe". When every time an opportunity comes up and you avoid it because it "probably won't lead to anything" or "it's too risky".
What to do: Don't say yes all the time. Don't say no all the time. Practice self care but don't practice avoiding things that will make you better.
3. Forgetting performance.
[Tip: Remember that, no matter what it is, whatever you're doing is there for a reason and there's both a way to kill it (do it well) and a way to blow it (do it poorly)
What this looks like: Going through the motions.
What to do: Start working on your philosophy. The best coaches and teachers have them. Succesfull companies have them. What's your parenting philosophy? Your husband philosophy? Your student philosophy? Etc. Then use it in your decision making. And grow it and adapt it constantly.
You will find that there are many things that take away your ability to be selfless. But these things tend to be a great starting block to getting better at it.